Wikivoyage:Bad jokes and other deleted nonsense/The Sun

The Sun, often referred to simply by its official name, Sol, is the primary star of the Solar System. Its climate can best be described as "mild at best".

Cities

While The Sun does not have any cities per se, it does have several sunspots which are cooler, and easy to build settlements on.

Get In

Space Shuttle

This is the primary method of getting to the sun. Tickets are expensive, but worth it. Travellers are expected to supply their own ion drives or NERVA motors to supplement it's generally low delta-V capacity, although it may seem counter intuitive solar sails may also be used but should only be considered by travellers willing to take a more time consuming journey. Other tour operators will charge less if you are willing to accept an initial flight to earth orbit, then a replacement bus service for the interplanetary element of the route.

Giant Cannon

If you fire yourself at the right angle from a giant cannon on Earth, it may be possible to reach the sun without spending large amounts of money on a space shuttle ticket. Soft cushions are provided for free protection against the bone shattering acceleration along the barrel by the more reputable companies. Warm clothing is advised for the journey, but upon arrival cooler apparel should be worn.

Bus

It is believed that the fab 56 occasionally makes night trips to the sun on full moons, but this has not been backed up by reliable evidence. However, it is still unknown where the bus goes after it makes its final trip to Newcastle on a night.

Eat And Drink

Since The Sun is, in fact, a giant burning ball of gas, restaurants and cafés are scarce. However, the Sol Hotel does have its own dedicated burger bar, in which the burgers are first cooked by simply leaving them on the surface of the sun for a few nanoseconds, before placing them in a frozen bun. Water is extremely valuable and expensive on The Sun, and the fact that it only lasts for several seconds before evaporating means that you have to pay up to $600 USD for a a glass, and drink it immediately. You may alternatively consider trying the local delicacy of hydrogen, it takes quite a stomach to hold it under sufficient temperature and pressure to begin "digestion" but the results are most spectacular.

Stay Safe

WARNING: The Sun is very hot. Make sure to wear suncream at all times. Never look directly at the sun, in fact if you are staying there, you must keep your head angled directly upwards at all times. Stays of more than 2 and a half minutes on the sun are strongly advised against, as the lethal levels of radiation can cause cancer of the heart, liver, kidney, breast, brain, lungs and can also cause serious psychological damage to those unprepared.

Make sure you carry a healthy amount of sunscreen (20 or 30 litres is usually the accepted amount) and apply an extra layer every four seconds.

Keep your Geiger Counter switched on at all times. If a solar flare warning is broadcast, evacuate the sun immediately.