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Latest comment: 10 days ago by LPfi in topic Request: Please review my article

Request: Please review my article

[edit]

I am a university student in South Korea, and as part of a school assignment, I am working on a Wikivoyage article about Pyeongtaek.

I would be grateful if you could provide feedback on the article.

Your insights on whether it conveys a clear understanding of Pyeongtaek and suggestions for any additional content would be greatly appreciated.

Your feedback will be invaluable in helping me improve the article.

Thank you very much for your time and assistance. Dbinni (talk) 05:44, 21 October 2024 (UTC)Reply

The article seems to be quite well-developed. I especially appreciate the general descriptions in Sleep (although I doubt a traveller would want a room for "a few hours"). Some suggestions for further improvement:
The Understand could use some love. I don't know the city, so I don't know what's noteworthy about it, but some characterisation would be good. Wikipedia says it was created by joining two former districts (without naming them), and that the government now tries to make it an international economic hub. Is there any remarkable history before the fusion? Is the city dominated by modern architecture with little traces of history? Does the U.S. base dominate the atmosphere of the city? It has half a million inhabitants (the approximate size is worth mentioning), so I assume the base mostly affects some areas; the Special Tourist Zone could be mentioned already in the Understand, and its role and characteristics described with a few more words in its listing.
There is some touty language in some of the descriptions. Avoid "our", "ideal" and the like. "[Developed…] to maintain the traditional taste" sounds contradictory (has it tried to maintain the traditional taste or to develop a unique character?). What's a "cooking experience" other than cooking with the help of an instructor? See Wikivoyage:Don't tout and Wikivoyage:Words to avoid.
The listings, although quite nice, also lack some practical information. Can you just walk in to learn about Confucianism or to study the music materials? Is walking around and having a picnic in the Pyeongtaekho Lake Tourist Complex free, or do you need to pay for such an "activity"?
The Pyeongtaek Port Festival and other events mentioned in the Sleep lead do not have any descriptions in Do. Should there be an Events subsection or are these too irregular to be listed or uninteresting for a casual visitor?
LPfi (talk) 09:11, 11 December 2024 (UTC)Reply